National Competitive Eating Association Struggling To Find Name For Fruit Eating Competition That Isn’t “Pear-Olympics”

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By D’angelo Kork

NEW YORK- The National Competitive Eating Association (NCEA) announced Thursday its most recent setback in getting its new eating competition off the ground.

“You see, the idea is simple” NCEA President Frank D’Lips told reporters during a press conference. “Competitors race to see how many pears they can eat in ten minutes and the winner wins a gold medal”.

The controversy, however, comes with the competition’s name. Calling it “The Pear-Olympics”, The NCEA hoped to appeal to people with an interest in this year’s Olympics in Rio.

“Our researchers have worked around the clock to find a new name, and they have come up with nothing. Pear-Olympics will have to do,” Lips told the media during a press conference, to mixed results.

Understandably, there has been some vicious feedback from the fruit community.

“Pear-Olympics?” On What if they eat apples? Or oranges?! This title simply excludes most of the fruit kingdom, and that is the only thing wrong with the title. Nothing else. I’m mad that they’re excluding fruit.”

The “Pear-Olympics” are scheduled for next month and tickets are free because nobody cares.

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