EDM enthusiast misinterprets enrollment drop

 

 

Tiquicia-Hit-Radio-guy-with-headphones.jpgBy David Colton

THE BLUE NOTE—Early this morning, local EDM advocator and MU student Thom Bulge expressed confusion about the drop in MU enrollment for 2016.

“I heard about the enrollment drop and god super psyched,” explains Thom, “I love hearing about new artists, and Enrollment is already one of my favorites.”

Bulge apparently thinks ‘Enrollment’ is a Progressive House side-project collaboration between DJ Lactaid and O.B.G.Y.N., two of the most well-known producers in the business.

“We’ve tried over and over again to explain to Thom that the enrollment drop is not sick,” explains Thom’s mother, Shauna Bulge, “but he just continues to insist that we just need to ‘wait for it,’ and I don’t even know what that means.

Somehow, even though he lived through the campus climate last fall, Bulge has no idea anything has changed at all.

“Honestly, I’m just pumped for Louis the Child to come dance in front of their computers again this month,” explains Bulge, “their drops are moderately sick.”

The Gatekeeper sat down with Bulge this week and explained to him that the enrollment drop was actually a drop in students attending MU, perpetuated by systematic oppression from positions of leadership and national media attention. Bulge, however, held constant to his stance, saying he “never even left Greektown,” because “why would he?”

 

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