By David Colton
DARK FOREST—In an interesting turn of events, Rush Limbaugh has just announced the subject of his new radio show: Lil’ Debbie Zebra Cakes. Republicans say they expected a shift in topic from Limbaugh, but not one this extreme.
“I mean, I think we all knew Rush was going to do something controversial,” explains Senator Mike Huckabee, “I at least expected him to focus on something a little less intense, like Texas Toast.”
Limbaugh, however, was not to be rattled, as he has his own vision for the show and for America.
“Imagine a world where you can legally take up to 65 Zebra Cakes on an airplane,” states Limbaugh, “it’s about damn time people wake up in this country and see the things that can really help them.”
In regards to the Zebra Cake’s decline in popularity, Limbaugh said only “Yeah, well nuclear war isn’t popular either, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be awesome.”
The law, however revolutionary it may be, does have some restrictions.
“I don’t allow minorities to eat Zebra Cakes. It’s offensive to them. The white frosting drizzled on top of the chocolate frosting…just…so……perfectly. Anyway, I would know what offends other people, so you should trust me. After all, I did come up with the idea for a Zebra Cake talk show.”