Trump Announces New “Semi Automatic” Ban

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WASHINTON D.C- Washington is still reeling after President Trump signed his new “Semi Automatic Ban” executive order. The ban will make it illegal for Americans to own semi automatic DSLR cameras. This order comes in response to the fair media treatment Trump has received.”These journalists, they are bad people. They take fake images,┬ápost them as fake news…they are really dangerous folks” said Trump.

The ban is aimed at reducing the amount of pictures that can be taken by a single camera. The Republicans have been trying to get rid of high capacity photo magazines for years.”No one needs to take 5,6 pictures a second. Even though it is fun, there is no practical use. Photography isn’t a sport like hunting is.” said Vice President Mike Pence. The White House has been looking for ways to address the dangerous political climate all year.

“America shouldn’t be able to see their commander and chief with a porn star” echoed Trump in his press conference. The ban will take effect immediately. All DSLR cameras should be given over to Melania Trump because she cares.